Tabula Rasa Risty
by Princess Alexandria
Summary: Rogue finds Risty beaten and broken on the side of the road after the girl had escaped from being an experiment. Risty lost much of her memory. Warning: RistyRogue Femslash
1. Default Chapter

Tabula Rasa Risty 

by Princess Alexandria

A wave of nausea hit her making her want to just kneel down on the ground and throw up whatever chemical concoction those scientists forced down her throat.  She would have if she weren't gliding through the air pretending to be part of a flock of birds.

When a familiar road appeared underneath their flight she turned away from the flock and ignored the squawks of confusion that caused as the others encouraged her to stay.  Home was this way.  After months of...  The raven stumbled in the air as her stomach convulsed and her form started to grow.  Oh God, not again.  Not now.

The fire in her veins hit her and she fell, shifting form, losing wings and gaining arms that did no good in the air.  The power wires snapped at the unexpected weight and her body arched in pain as the power hit her, before she landed on the ground, knocking her out.

"Ah'm telling you I saw something."  The voice was familiar.  The woman rolled her head to the side and tried to ignore the shooting pain that caused.  The voice was getting closer.  "Fell from the sky."

"I'm sure you just wanted a chance to drag me..."  The other female's voice stopped.

"RISTY!"  The sound of panic and moving branches.  It was a struggle to open her eyes and stare up at the concerned look

"Rogue?"  Her own voice was weak and cracked.

"Oh Risty, what happened?"  Rogue stared at her and pieces of Risty's past came back to her.  Rogue was her friend.  They went to school together.

"I don't feel so good."  Risty struggled to roll onto her side before throwing up.

"Jean, get the jeep."  Rogue's voice snapped out the order before Risty felt arms slip underneath her body.  The pain of being lifted, and broken bones grinding against each other gave Risty some relief in the form of unconsciousness.

********

Rogue paced outside of the medlab while Beast looked after her friend.  It didn't make sense that Risty would go missing for months only to turn up looking like she'd been beaten within an inch of her life.  Rogue made a sharp turn to pace back in the other direction.  Risty had disappeared right after they'd been outed as mutants.  Rogue had assumed that her friend, her only real friend couldn't handle that.  She'd just tried to push Risty's absence out of her mind even though it hurt.  She should have been looking for her.  She should have realized that Risty wouldn't have been like that.

God, what happened to Risty?  The cuts, bruises, needle marks, all pointed to something really bad.  Rogue had noticed them all while Jean drove them home.

"Rogue can you tell me what happened?"  The Professor's voice stopped Rogue's pacing.  She crossed her arms tightly in front of her and turned to face him.  

"Jean and I were coming back from the mall and I noticed someone falling from the sky.  We went to investigate and found Risty."  That didn't escape her notice that Risty had been in the sky and probably had been flying.  Why she crashed wasn't a mystery.  Risty looked really sick.

"Did you know your friend was a mutant?"  The Professor asked gently and Rogue turned to stare at the closed door keeping her from seeing if Risty was okay.

"No.  Never came up."  Wasn't that a trip, Rogue thought sarcastically.  All this time she was trying to keep Risty from figuring out Rogue was a mutant and she never even realized she could have been honest with her.

"Okay then."  Rogue moved to sit on the chair outside in the hall, while feeling utterly useless.  Waiting wasn't her favorite thing to do under the best circumstances.  "Hank is doing everything he can for her.  I'm sure she'll be alright.  She's in very good hands."

"Thanks Professor."  Rogue said it absently, not really paying any attention anymore.

It was another tense hour before a somber looking Hank came out of the medlab to see Rogue and the Professor quietly waiting for him.  "Well, I did a blood work on her.  I can only identify some of the drugs in her system."  His voice was deeper and more serious than it normally was.  "She has some scarring that indicates some surgeries rather recently.  Exploratory most likely, since the scans Forge's latest x-ray machine took still show everything is where is should be."  Rogue felt her face pale and her stomach drop.  She might be sick.  Still she stood still, deathly still to hear the rest.  "I removed a tracking device that was implanted under her skin.  It had an explosive attached to it to discourage such action.  Luckily or not so luckily her electric shock from hitting the power lines shorted it out.  The fact that she survived all of this makes me think she might have some healing factor.  I'm hoping that is the case, because it will speed up her physical recovery."

Rogue swallowed hard, her voice still came out strained.  "Can I see her now?"

Hank gave her a weak smile.  "Sure, but she is still sleeping.  She should come too soon."  He then moved closer to the Professor, probably to say things that Rogue didn't want to hear.  Not that she'd wanted to hear any of the other things that Hank said.

Risty looked so fragile.  Her deep purple hair covered the dark bruise on one cheek.  The IV and monitors made Rogue nervous.  Apparently her friend was in need of a heart monitor.  Not a good sign in Rogue's book.  "Hey."  She whispered to the sleeping girl as she moved to take the seat next to the bed.  She really didn't know what to say.  Rogue sighed and leaned forward just enough to rest one glove covered hand on Risty's arm.  

********

**A month later**

"This is ridiculous."  Risty came into the room and slammed the door behind her.  Rogue glanced up at her new roommate and noticed the irritation; the hint of fear was also there.  It was always there even though Risty did her best to cover it up.  "It's like I don't bloody exist!"  The purple haired teen flopped onto her own bed and covered her eyes with her arm.  The voice was more strained.  "We can't find an apartment, parents... I had parents.  I know I did.  It's like it all disappeared."

Rogue put her book down and moved to sit up.  She debated about moving to sit on Risty's bed with her, but the girl was a bit unpredictable lately.  She would only accept compassion when she wanted it, and if Rogue tried to give it at other times there was yelling and pushing away.  The Professor told her to expect unpredictable, sometimes irrational behavior after what Risty had been through.  Thankfully Risty seemed to forget most of the details of her imprisonment; they only came out in nightmares that made Rogue's skin crawl when she overheard her friend mumbling and crying in her sleep.

The scarring had healed well.  The drugs took a while to work out of her system, but physically Risty seemed fine.  A little weaker than she'd been before, but it was the mental scars that lingered.  Not being able to find her parents or home really didn't help.

Rogue got off her bed slowly and moved cautiously to sit on Risty's bed.  She took the Risty's hand and pulled it up so she could uncover the other girl's eyes.  "We'll figure it out."  Rogue gave her friend a small smile.  Without knowing what else to say she just continued to stare.  "Oh... Umm, did you want to go out for ice cream or something?  Just get out of the mansion for a while?"

Risty gave her a weak smile and Rogue returned it automatically.  Risty always did that to her when she smiled.  "I don't know what I'd do without you Rogue."  The feel of someone touching her arm, holding it still startled Rogue.  She could feel the warmth of her friend even through her long gloves.  Not so surprisingly few people ever touched Rogue, but even after finding out about her powers Risty never backed away.  Risty was truly unafraid.

When they got to the ice cream place it was rather empty.  Weeknights must not bring in the best business.  They took a seat near the window that overlooked the dark parking lot.

"I just don't understand it."  Risty muttered before taking a bit of whip cream.  Rogue just watched as the girl she was with went quiet for a while leaving the conversation tense with the unfinished thought.  "Why didn't anyone miss me?  I mean... I've got a hole in my memory two months long.  I've been..."  Risty's jaw tensed and Rogue felt a wave of guilt that she was one of the people that didn't realize.  "I just don't get it.  Certainly any parent would wonder if they hadn't heard from me.  I can't even find them.  It's like they never existed."  Risty started to stir her sundae, mixing the whip cream in with the hot fudge.  "It's like the only thing that was real was you."

Rogue didn't know what to say.  "I'm sorry."  She apologized for her own mistake.  It was all she could do.

"What?"  Risty seemed startled out of her thoughts as she looked up.  "You've nothing to be sorry about luv."  Risty's eyes seemed to stare into Rogue's so intensely that Rogue wondered if Risty was developing telepathy.  "Oh Rogue...  I understand why you didn't know."

"But I should have at least checked."

"No.  No.  The humans were being their typical bigoted selves.  How would you know I was different?  It wasn't like I told you."  Risty moved to rest her hand on top of Rogue's.  "Luv, I don't blame you.  If it weren't for you I would have died."  The squeezing of Rogue's hand came with a watery smile.  "You're my personal hero."

Once they finished their ice cream they just aimlessly walked around the small shops looking in windows.  Risty's sarcastic comments seemed less frequent and a bit more forced than normal, but Rogue just smiled at them and agreed anyhow.  

When they walked past the bar loud male laughing drifted out to them.  Risty tensed up instantly and Rogue turned to see her friend paling and her eyes darting around nervously.  "Come on."  Rogue moved back to put her arm around Risty's should carefully and gently encouraged the girl to keep walking.  She could feel tense muscles under her own arm and the nervous shaking.  

"Right brave of me, don't you think?"  Risty gave a weak nervous laugh as they made it to the car.  

"Don't worry about it."  Rogue spoke gently, but her mind couldn't stop circling around the fact that men laughing like that terrified her friend.  God, how bad were those two months?  It wasn't like Risty could tell her.  The girl didn't remember or didn't want to remember.

********


	2. Chapter 2

Tabula Rasa Risty 

by Princess Alexandria

Risty hated sleeping.  She absolutely loathed it now.  The nightmares made little sense most of the time but the fear, the terror, seemed to creep into every pore.  That was why she was sitting on the couch alone staring at the late show rather than going to bed.  That and the fact that Rogue really needed a good nights sleep.  Her friend had a history test tomorrow and didn't need Risty keeping her awake. 

"Hey kid.  It's way past curfew."  A male voice called into the room.  Risty glanced over at the doorway to see the dark haired man.  He looked familiar, but she couldn't really place him.  Probably saw his picture around here somewhere.

"And I'm home aren't I?  That's what a curfew is for."  She turned back to her show, dismissing him.  This was home now, but it still felt so wrong.  She shouldn't be staying here.  If it weren't for Rogue she wouldn't be.  Living on the streets must be better than dealing with Summers self righteous attitude.  She hated that boy.  He'd tried to send her to bed an hour ago, like he was in charge or something.  Risty wasn't part of their little hero brigade, and therefore wasn't going to take orders from that boy.  What Rogue saw in him was a mystery.  Risty got the impression that Mr. Self-Righteous Summers would stab Risty in the back if given a chance.

"Yeah, and students are supposed to be sleeping long before midnight."  He pressed as he came into the room.

"Sleeps overrated."  She sighed heavily as he moved to stand in front of her with his hand held out for the remote.  Risty narrowed her eyes, not at all liking the tendency of these goodie goodies to order her about.  She was just watching t.v. not trying to take over the world.  They should save their bossy attitudes for battle.

"Ah, Logan."  The Professor's voice reached out to great the man stopping the staring contest over the remote.  "I'm glad you could make it."  The Professor smiled at Risty and then motioned for Logan to follow him.  She smiled a fake sweet smile at him and turned the volume up just a little before wiggling back into her seat and making it clear that she wasn't leaving.  

********

"Get rather lax on the bedtimes Chuck?"  Logan glanced back at Risty when he said that. 

"That is a special… situation; the one that inspired my call."  The Professor lead Logan to his office while trying to think of a way to tell him about Risty.  "Risty doesn't attend classes at the High School anymore so I don't enforce a bedtime."  It was more than that.  He was really at a loss as to how to deal with the young girl.  His scans came up with nothing.  He couldn't read her.  She was still prone to panic attacks, lashing out, and other behaviors that would get her kicked out of the local high school.  Her nightmares meant that her sleeping habits were eradict at best.  On top of all of this she couldn't remember how the people that did those horrible things to her captured her so they had no idea whether it was safe to let her be seen too often in town, or at the high school.

"So what's up with the kid?"  Logan pressed for details, but Charles waited until they were in his office before answering.  Most of the students around here didn't know all the details and he planned to keep it that way.

"Risty is…"  He sighed as he looked at the man he'd called.  "She was captured and experimented on.  She's still recovering from it and I suspect if she didn't have a healing factor she wouldn't have lived."  Logan's body tensed.  Charles had anticipated that.  His own history or lack of it was the result of the government experiments on him.  "Her memories seem spotty.  She can tell us what music she and Rogue used to listen to.  She can talk in great length about her favorite movie, but the address she gave us for her apartment turned up a used car lot.  Her memory of her parents names turned up a twelve year old ballerina and a seventy five year old retired teacher neither of whom have ever heard of her.  She stays here and doesn't socialize with anyone but Rogue.  She can barely sleep because of the nightmares, but she can't remember what they did to her."  He paused and let Logan absorb all of that.  Charles' voice was softer when he spoke again.  "I am working with her, trying to unlock some of her memories but not too surprisingly she doesn't seem to want to remember it.  I called you, hoping that you could help us track down where they did this to her.  We need to know what they did, what they were trying to do.  Hank could only make some guesses, but he couldn't be sure.  We can't identify some of the drugs used on her.  They used enough to kill most people and the experiments they did were rather horrific from the physical evidence Hank found."

Logan looked stunned.  "Sure, you give me a few leads and I'll find those bastards."  His claws came out in his silent threat.  Charles didn't even bother to tell him not to consider hurting those men if it wasn't necessary.  He wouldn't tell him that either.  It was the closest to permission he could bring himself to give.

********

Rogue rolled over in her bed and cracked open an eye when she heard the door open and the light turned on.  Risty was just now going to bed.  She didn't say anything as she glanced at the time.  It was amazing Risty could function the way she slept in short shifts like that.  Rogue knew the girl would still wake up to have breakfast with her, have her meeting with the Professor and then take another nap before Rogue got home from school.  

Rogue should have closed her eyes before Risty started to change.  Risty didn't even know Rogue was awake.  Still she watched as the shirt fell onto the floor exposing a back with thin white scars, but when the bra started to become unfastened Rogue closed her eyes.  Her heart was pounding a bit faster, worried that Risty could have caught her.  She listened as Risty finished changing and could hear the rustle of sheets as her friend got into bed.   She wouldn't have looked but Risty never let her see what they'd done to her.  She kept covered up.

"No.  Don't leave me here."  Risty's cry sent a wave of terror through Rogue's sleeping body and she leapt out of bed ready to fight before she even consciously registered what happened.  Her heart was pounding.  It took a second to realize they weren't under attack as she watched Risty thrashing in her bed.  Rogue put her arms back down to her side and moved to grab her gloves off her nightstand so that she could touch Risty.  They had a room away from the others just because of this.  The first time Risty had a nightmare like this the whole team came running when they heard it thinking something was wrong.  Risty had been so painfully embarrassed she didn't want to sleep when anyone else was home.  Rogue pulled on her second glove as she moved to Risty's bed.  That was how Rogue ended up moving out of her and Kitty's bedroom to share with Risty.  They didn't want her alone.

"Risty."  She spoke softly as she reached out to gently shake a shoulder.  "Risty wake up."  Risty jerked away from her with a small whimpered cry.  God this hurt every time it happened.  Risty looked like a frightened animal cowering in the corner of the bed for a moment and Rogue felt helpless to do anything.  "Risty honey."  She spoke softly, trying squat down on the floor so that her arms rested even with the bed to look less threatening until Risty woke up completely.  "It's okay."

"Rogue?"  The hoarse voice of her friend indicated that Risty was now aware of her surroundings.  Rogue looked into her best friend's tear stained face and felt an ache that she couldn't reach out and hold her.  Couldn't comfort anyone like that without getting dressed first.  Risty glanced at the clock and then back at Rogue with an apologetic look on her face.  "I'm sorry."

"Gawd, you don't need to be."  Rogue felt tears starting to pool in her own eyes.  "I wish I could…"  Rogue held her arms towards Risty for just a moment, almost unable to not pull the girl into a hug, but she knew her limitations and her arms fell back to her side helplessly.

Risty stared at her a moment before pulling and tugging on her sheet until it came loose from the bed.  Rogue was surprised when Risty wrapped that sheet around her and pulled her close, resting her head on Rogue's now covered shoulder.  "There's always a way luv."  Risty whispered.  Hesitantly Rogue wrapped her arms around Risty and made sure they didn't touch anything but the t-shirt Risty was sleeping in.  Rogue's eyes closed as a few tears made their way down her own cheeks.  Her heart felt full and she pulled Risty closer to comfort them both.  The hug went on longer than was socially acceptable, but Rogue wasn't pulling away.

After that they quietly got back into their own beds.  Rogue stayed on her side and could see Risty just staring at the ceiling.


	3. Chapter 3

Tabula Rasa Risty  
by Princess Alexandria  
  
Risty listened to the damned birds singing. Hard to believe her mutant power was to become a Raven when she felt like tossing a book out the window to quiet the local wildlife. The sunny morning was just another in a string of them. Her days were endlessly boring, so much so she actually envied Rogue her homework last night.  
  
The Professor was giving her a break from his stupid counseling. That was a gift today. She didn't like talking about her feelings while he struggled to look like a loving father. She knew better than to believe a man claiming to care about you. Risty's eyebrows drew together as she considered that thought. How did she know?   
  
She rolled onto her stomach lazily and stared over at Rogue's empty bed. Even when Rogue had a day off school she still had to wake up early and train. A slight grimace came to Risty's lips as she thought about that one session where she tried to join them. If Jean hadn't caught her she would have broken her bones again. She couldn't maintain her birdform. Shifting was hard, so very hard. It surprised Risty that she'd ever attempted to fly since she tended to suddenly shift back. The desperation she must have felt to choose to do that scared her.  
  
Thoughts of her torture were never far away. It took all her control to not scream at Summers when he talked about protecting humans. Look what those humans did to her. She couldn't remember it all, but her nightmares filled in gaps that she'd rather forget.  
********  
  
Rogue made sure to take the shower stall further away from the other girls on the team, and showered quickly so that she could get back upstairs.   
  
"Hey Rogue, we were thinking about going to the mall." Jean called over to her while the redhead was doing her hair nearby. At least these locker rooms had some privacy. Rogue couldn't take PE at the high school because of her mutation but here there was little risk her teammates would accidently get too close.   
  
"Oh," Rogue pulled her robe on and stepped out of the shower stall. "Ah can't. We're going to the movies." Rogue noticed Jean turn from the mirror to look at her for a little too long. Rogue wouldn't mind going to the mall, but Risty was really eager to see this movie and she'd promised.   
  
"Yeah, you and Risty seem to really get along." Jean spoke a little slower than normal. "It's good."  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Rogue scowl made it clear she didn't like this conversation. She had some feeling she knew where it was going. She'd noticed the looks her and Risty were getting lately.  
  
"It's just," Jean put her brush down and turned to actually face Rogue. "She's nice enough, pretty. You could do worse."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Rogue glared, but she knew full well what Jean was insinuating.   
  
"I'm just saying that if you like her, what's the harm?" Jean gave her that superior smirk and left, leaving Rogue feeling like denying it. Rogue stared at her own reflection before angrily starting to run her own brush through her hair.  
  
"What's the point. Ah can't touch anyone." She muttered too quietly for Jean to hear and felt a dull ache in her chest at that thought. Other girls talked about love with the idea that someday they'd have that. Rogue knew better.  
  
The girl thing wasn't as big an issue as Rogue's damned mutation. Her mothers were gay, so it would be pretty hypocritical for Rogue to have a problem with the fact that... Rogue sighed heavily and listened to the emptiness of the locker room. She was the last one out again. Risty really was everything Rogue would want in a girl, if she decided to go that way.  
  
Her eyebrows drew together as Rogue stared at her reflection. Gay. Did she want to do that? She liked boys well enough. A glance at the clock had her moving a bit faster so that Risty and her could make it on time for the first showing. She didn't need to have these thoughts now.  
  
Her hairbrush was put absently back into her locker as Rogue finished getting dressed. Risty hugged her, and Rogue remembered the warmth of that contact and the lack of fear. Most people were a little scared to be close to Rogue when she wasn't all covered up.  
  
Risty. Rogue nibbled on her bottom lip. Did she want to be gay with Risty? What would Risty say about that if Rogue brought it up? Risty didn't seem homophobic. God damn Jean for making her think about this. Rogue closed her locker slowly and moved to leave more slowly than she'd intended. She felt a bit awkward now about spending time with Risty when she didn't know what she wanted. Was there a point to wanting when she couldn't have?  
  
********  
  
Risty grinned as she stood up holding an unexpected find. She'd been looking to borrow a pair of sock from Rogue, but this was too good to pass up a chance to tease her roommate. Risty moved to sit on Rogue's bed, leaning against the wall and rested her arms on her knees. "Well, aren't you a little Village person." She smirked at the old teddy bare in her hands. The brown fur was slightly worn, the black faux leather vest and biker hat made her smile. Rogue couldn't have a normal teddy bear, that was points in her favor, but what was the child's toy doing in her sock drawer? Risty's smile became wicked as she stared at it. "You look like a Fritz."   
  
When the door opened Risty watched her roommate step in and look at her confused for a second when she noticed whose bed Risty was on. "Well Fritz," Risty addressed the bear. "Looks like Mama's home."  
  
"What?" Rogue's blush was accompanied by a bit of shock. "I..." Risty would normally enjoy teasing the girl, but Rogue looked a bit too embarrassed.  
  
"It's alright luv," Risty's wicked smile faded to a more gentle one. "So who's your friend?" She held up the bear and gently fake walked him over her knees.  
  
"Mr. Fritz." Rogue gave Risty an odd look and Risty couldn't believe she'd guessed that one. "My momma traveled a lot. He came from Germany." Rogue moved forward and Risty was surprised by the tender way Rogue took him back, seemed to protect him from Risty's gaze with her body. No, no teasing today. "Momma was always buying me things to make up for never being home."  
  
"Oh luv, I'm sorry." Risty spoke quietly, not quite sure why she felt the need to apologize. She hadn't really started teasing yet.  
  
"Ah don't care. It's just a stupid bear." Rogue tossed him a little roughly back into the drawer, but made sure his arms and legs didn't get caught when she closed it. Rogue was tense, a bit defensive, and clearly lying.  
  
"I don't have anything from my family." Risty glanced at the drawer and back at Rogue. "Well, luv, we ready to go?" She was a little uncomfortable with the touchy feely moment. It was time to move on.  
  
********  
  
Rogue glanced at Risty again as the other girl watched the movie. She took in the pale skin, the half smile. Risty really was very pretty. Risty chose the moment to glance at her and smile. She reached out and took Rogue's gloved hand to squeeze it while leaning closer. "Thanks for coming Luv. I know this isn't exactly your type of movie." Her voice was soft as she spoke before turning back to pay attention to the film just starting.  
  
Rogue swallowed and turned to stare at the screen before she got caught looking again. Risty's hand slipping out of hers was a disappointment. Rogue closed her eyes for a moment and imagined the warmth of that touch was still there. She tried to analyze how that made her feel and a slight blush came to her face in the darkness. Risty's touch made Rogue feel alive in a way she hadn't in so long.  
  
"Oh, luv you have got to watch this part." Risty leaned towards her to comment on the movie. "It's bloody brilliant." The theater was showing old movies, black and whites and Risty was captivated by it. The simple pleasure in Risty's face answered so many of Rogue's questions. Her heart seemed to stall as she stared at her companion.   
********  
  
"Risty, Ah was thinking." Rogue stammered out as she stared into her dresser mirror. No, too casual. She took a deep breath. "Risty, Ah really like you and I was hoping..." Why not beg, it sounded too desperate.  
  
"Risty Ah was thinking of a movie and dinner. Maybe that nice Italian place you wanted to try." She rehearsed again.  
  
"Sounds great." Rogue spun around in shock to see her roommate slipping in the door and casually heading for the bathroom. "Maybe we could stop by the store and get some more magazines. I'm running out."  
  
When the bathroom door closed Rogue let out a breath of air in shock. She'd been rehearsing for several minutes. She was finally going to ask Risty out on a real date, and... Her jaw clenched as she thought about this. Risty didn't realize it was supposed to be a date. Maybe Rogue should just drop it.   
  
No, she'd planned this. She had reservations just in case. When the door opened again after a few minutes Rogue took a deep breath. "No, Ah was thinking of Friday night, not now." Rogue felt her heart pounding as she took this huge gamble. Her voice softened as Risty finally looked at her, really looked at her. "Ah was asking you out. On a date."  
  
Risty's eyes blinked a few too many times and the silence seemed to kill Rogue slowly. "Oh." was all she got in response. "Rogue, I didn't think... You seemed so hung up on Scott."   
  
"Nevermind." Rogue felt like she'd rather disappear than stay standing right there. Yes she'd been interested in Scott, but Risty... dammit she'd ruined it. She'd ruined their friendship.  
  
"I think Friday's fine." Risty's voice was softer than normal and Rogue looked up into her best friends eyes, not sure she heard it right. "But if we're waiting until Friday, I need to go to the store and get more magazines."  
********  
  
Risty felt a bit faint. She hadn't expected this to ever happen. Her initial reaction had been a sense of panic and she couldn't understand it. She didn't really think about things like gender. She always knew she was bisexual, but the thought of dating Rogue worried her. Rogue was her best friend. Maybe she was afraid to screw up their relationship.   
  
Risty moved to grab her jacket and head for the door. "I'll catch a ride with Jean. You want anything?"  
  
"No, Ah'm fine." Rogue gave her a smile, one that reached the somber girl's eyes. Rogue looked happy. That was important. "See yah at dinner."  
  
"Yeah." Risty slipped out the door and focused her eyes on her own walking feet. Rogue was fun to be with, cared about her, didn't make her feel bad about the nightmares keeping Rogue up. Rogue was attractive. Risty could do far worse. Far far worse. Her hands shook a little as she pulled the jacket on. She didn't remember ever having a girlfriend before, but she didn't care what people thought.  
  
Rogue. Risty waited on the front steps for Jean to pull the Jeep up. Jean had shopping duty and Risty managed to get herself an invitation to help just so she could get her magazines. She would have preferred going with Rogue, but right now she could use the time away.  
  
Rogue was always there for her. Rogue's smile made Risty feel something warm and happy. The tension in Risty's back started to fade as she pushed aside her unexpected homophobia, that was what it was and it was ridiculous to worry about what people thought. Rogue made Risty feel like she was home. Maybe they'd be good together. They had so much in common.  
  
  
********  
  
Rogue sat next to Risty at the theater and gave her a small shy smile. Getting out of the house was easy, they acting like it was a normal night out. Both of them covering the real reason they didn't want Kitty to tag along easily. Kitty had almost ruined it with her whining about being left behind, but when Jean came into the room it stopped. Rogue had the suspicion that Jean had something to do with that.  
  
"Don't eat too much popcorn luv." Risty spoke with a new softness in her voice, one that made Rogue feel it like a caress. "I want appetizers with our dinner. You are paying right?" Risty smirked at her teasingly.  
  
"Yes." Rogue wasn't sure about the ettiquete for lesbian dating, but tonight she planned to pay for everything.   
  
"Well, good. I'm not a cheap date." Risty reached out and took Rogue's hand when the lights went out. "I probably should have warned you."   
  
"Yes, the candy bar was a bit pricey." Rogue smirked at Risty and watched with wide eyes as Risty pushed her purple hair to the side, out of her eyes for a moment while staring at Rogue. So beautiful.  
  
"Wait until I ask for a second raspberry lemonade at dinner. I'll break you for sure." Rogue just tightened her hold on Risty's hand. God, she wished she could feel flesh again, but still the warmth of her was soothing and exciting all at once.   
******** 


	4. Chapter 4

Tabula Rasa Risty  
by Princess Alexandria  
  
  
Risty noticed Rogue was still holding her hand and the darkness of the theater covered their actions. A slightly mischievious smile came to her lips as she moved her hand out of the firm grasp and started to caress her fingers over the back of Rogue's gloves, slowly caressing Rogue's fingers as well, before letting her hand rest over Rogue's motionlessly while turning to watch the movie. She could hear the slight catch in Rogue's breath as she did all that and Risty couldn't deny that it felt good to give Rogue that human contact she so craved. Risty never said it, but Rogue's power was truly tragic. The way people that knew about her powers flinched if Rogue got too close made Risty angry. They might be children, but still it hurt. Risty could tell it hurt Rogue.  
  
"Luv, do you want some of my candy?" She leaned closer to Rogue to offer and her eyes trailed over her date. How was she going to do more than hold hands? Her mind circled around the problem as Rogue thanked her but didn't take the proffered sweet. If this went somewhere, Risty should know how to do more than this.  
  
The movie was barely worth paying attention to, as Rogue's facial expression to Risty's occassional caresses, and the effect Risty had on Rogue when she leaned closer to make some comment about the film was so incredibly unguarded. Risty had never seen Rogue like this. So vulnerable in her desire to have someone. "You are so beautiful." Risty whispered and watched the way Rogue seemed to bloom under the attention. It had been so long since Risty had felt a woman's touch and Rogue looked so touchable. It was very deceptive.   
  
Risty blinked and turned her eyes to the screen again. When had she felt a woman's touch? As far as she knew she was a virgin. Why would she think...? She shook her head and pushed the strange thoughts aside, like she'd been doing for weeks.  
  
This wasn't like a regular date, where they were supposed to get to know each other. They already knew they got along. Risty felt a bit lost in what was expected. If this was someone else, someone she could touch, would she be planning to be with them tonight? Part of her really believed that she would.  
********  
  
Rogue barely noticed the movie ending. The lights coming up actually surprised her. Her fair skin blushed as she noticed Risty staring at her. "Ah guess we should go. The reservations..." She felt awkward in talking with Risty, and it was new, but not completely bad. Risty's hand pulled off of her and Rogue missed the contact. As she got up she made up her mind to not care about the looks they might get and she reached out for Risty's hand, while giving her a searching look to see if this was okay when people could see them. The soft squeeze Risty gave her hand made her smile.  
  
Dinner became less tense and they fell into their familiar friendship, but occassionally Rogue would notice a searching look in Risty's eyes and just blush, or she'd see an expression on Risty's face and barely be able to stop from staring at how beautiful her friend really was.   
  
They ate dinner at a very leisurely pace. Rogue wasn't eager for the night to be over, even though they'd be staying in the same room once they got back. There was just something so very intimate going on here, something so very datelike and private. It was hard to point out what was different, but it was.  
  
When they pulled into the garage Rogue just sat there for a moment before turning to see Risty waiting for her to talk. "Ah had a great time."  
  
"You're dropping me off at the door, luv?" Risty grinned at her and Rogue felt a little foolish, but she felt the date had to end here, outside, at least this first time. "Oh, well... I had a great time too. I hope I'll see you again?" Risty was moving for a second date. Rogue had hoped that this wouldn't be a one time experiment to see if they could. Risty's teasing like they wouldn't see each other inside made Rogue blush, but she was going for that second date.  
  
"I was thinking maybe tomorrow night?" Risty didn't leave the mansion this often, but they hadn't run into any problems with it and Rogue didn't want to go a week. She couldn't date with the curfew the Professor had on them for school nights.   
  
"I'd love to. I have just the plans." Risty gave Rogue a flirtatious look. "Well, I best be going. My roommate is a real overbearing type. She'll grumble if I'm out all night."  
  
"I'm sure she wouldn't mind." Rogue smirked as she played along. "As long as you tell her all the details. You know how girls are."  
  
"I don't kiss and tell love." Risty smiled but Rogue felt her own smile falter at that. Kiss, well it wasn't like that would be happening anytime soon.   
  
"Well," She tried to smile and noticed Risty's widening eyes as the girl realized what she'd said. "Better get going."  
  
"No, not just yet." The teasing tone of voice was gone as Risty stared at her with a serious expression. "I had a nice time Rogue." Rogue noticed Risty pulling something out of her purse. A small silk red scarf. "There's always a way luv." Risty spoke softly and Rogue felt the scarf being placed over her face, her lips. Her mouth opened in shock, and then Risty's lips met hers for a brief gentle kiss. Rogue's eyes blinked when Risty pulled back. "Always a way." Risty whispered and then jumped out of the car. Rogue's hand moved to her lips as she touched them while watching Risty go inside first.  
  
"Oh mah..." She whispered before pulling the keys out of the ignition and getting out herself. A smile started to grow as she realized that she'd been kissed. That Risty cared enough to bring that scarf with her so she could.  
  
"You look like you had a good night." Jean's teasing voice caught her as soon as she got in the door. It didn't even bother her.  
  
"Yeah, Ah did."   
********  
  
"You going out again?" Kitty asked and Rogue pretended to not hear her. It wasn't really aimed at her, just said in her direction anyhow. This time it was Risty that was driving, and Risty told her to meet her at nine by the car. Rogue wasn't sure what was planned for tonight.  
  
"Well, luv." Risty stood on the drivers side of the car. "I believe you look even more incredible than normal."  
  
"Thank you." Rogue felt more feminine than she had in a long time, even though she wasn't dressed the part. Risty's attention made her feel attractive.  
  
"Let's get going before anyone of your friends decides it's a chance to come with us." Risty glanced over Rogue's shoulder and Rogue noticed Kitty coming their way. She got in quickly and they were on their way out the gate before her old roommate tried to invite herself. Maybe Rogue would tell them soon so that they wouldn't feel like they were being left out. If things went well with Risty tonight, maybe Rogue would say something. Kitty was her friend in a way, but she'd be oblivious to the fact she was interrupting a date if Rogue didn't tell her.  
********  
  
"Professor, I've just heard something interesting." Charles watched Ororo close the door behind her as she came in. Ororo's voice dropped as if keeping the matter private. "I overheard Kitty talking, and apparently Rogue told her that she was dating Risty."  
  
"Yes, I'm aware of that." Charles gave Ororo a small smile but he noticed she was a little confused by his admission. He did arrange for the girls to have the cars and allowed flexible curfews.   
  
"Aren't you concerned that they are roommates?"  
  
"Under normal circumstances I might be." Charles sighed as he rested his elbows on his desk, "but you and I know that Rogue isn't going to be doing anything inappropriate." The unspoken words were that Rogue couldn't. "Risty still needs Rogue. She's still plagued by nightmares. I'm not inclined to separate them anytime soon."  
  
"Are you sure about this Charles?" Ororo sat on the chair in front of the desk. "Is this healthy for either of them? I'm not talking about the fact that they are both girls, I'm talking about the fact that Risty is still recovering." Ororo sighed. "Is this a Nightengale romance or are they truly..."  
  
"We have to let them decide."  
  
"And if Rogue gets hurt?" Charles could see Ororo was already hurting for the girl's potential pain in this.  
  
"Other girls Rogue's age have been dating for awhile now. Rogue's mutation kept her from really believing she could. This relationship..." He went quiet as he tried to formulate his answer. Rogue didn't have to be alone, and Risty was teaching Rogue that. Risty was also learning that she had someone she could turn to because one thing the Professor did learn in the sessions she had with Risty was that Risty didn't trust many people, but she did trust Rogue. "I believe this is good for both of them. How many times have you seen either of those girl's honestly smile?"  
  
"A lot more often lately." Ororo bow her head just a little to indicate she understood.  
********  
  
Ororo walked past the t.v. room and glanced in at the teenagers watching something. She watched how Rogue was laying her head in Risty's lap. Ororo leaned against the doorway unseen as she watched Risty gaze down with such a tender look on her face as she carefully took the risk to move Rogue's hair out of her face. Their uncovered skin coming so incredibly close. For both girls sakes she hoped this went well, but she couldn't shake the uneasy feeling she had.  
  
"Luv, let's go upstairs. I'm not interested in this show." Ororo moved when Risty spoke. As she walked to her own rooms the hint of promise in Risty's words made her doubt Charles' words earlier. If the girls really wanted to be together, they'd find a way. Rogue was still a minor in their care and Ororo wasn't sure she felt comfortable allowing them to explore their relationship in their dorm like that.  
  
"I hope you know what you're doing Charles." She muttered softly to herself as she let nature take its course in a way she had no control over.  
********  
  
Rogue woke up to the restless tossing and turning of her roommate yet again. The nightmares came nightly, even after Risty had been safe at the mansion for a couple months.  
  
"Risty?" Rogue tossed her sheets off of her and moved to the other side of the room. "Risty?" She called out as she started putting her gloves back on, while hating the delay they caused.  
  
"No, please no more." Risty's tearful voice pleaded with her tormentors. "No more." Hearing the strong girl beg for mercy again in the night tore at Rogue's heart. If she ever ran across the people that did this to Risty. Her fists clenched as she imagined all the things she wished she could do to them.  
  
"Risty?" She reached out to shake Risty's shoulder, while preparing her heart to deal with the inevitable flinching away and the cowering in the corner in fear she knew was going to happen.  
  
"NO" Risty cried out and scrambled away from her.  
  
"Baby, it's okay." Rogue spoke softly.   
  
"Rogue?" It was the same thing every night. Rogue just nodded and her eyes widened when Risty changed things. Risty's arms opened up and the girl moved closer, obviously needing a hug.  
  
"Careful." Rogue's voice got louder in her shock and concern, stopping Risty from making a mistake. The lost look on Risty's face had Rogue's eyes staring down at Risty's sheet as she yanked it violently off the bed and pulled it to her body making this safe. Risty kneeled on the bed in front of Rogue and pulled her into a desperately strong hug. "Ah got you, and Ah'll never let anyone hurt you like that again. Never." Rogue clung to Risty and rocked gently like her mother used to do when she woke up from a bad dream. Tears travelled down her own cheeks as she held on tightly.  
  
"Rogue?" Risty's voice was shaky, vulnerable. Rogue tightened her hug and rested her head carefully on Risty's hair.  
  
"Ah love you." Rogue whispered it out. She always felt so helpless at night, and this was hardly the most romantic way to tell Risty, but she had to tell her. "Ah love you so much." Risty pulled back to look at her and Rogue reluctantly let her go so that she could. Risty studied Rogue as if she were trying to see if that were true just from looking at her.  
  
"I love you too." Risty leaned closer, and before Rogue could warn her, took the sheet and pulled it up enough to cover the lips that she covered with her own. Kissing like this was painfully inadequate, but Rogue leaned into it while pulling Risty closer anyhow. "I want to sleep in your bed." Risty whispered her request while staring.  
  
"What? How?" Rogue for a brief moment entertained the idea that it could be. That she could sleep with someone in her arms, but reality hit her again and her eyes fell to the ground. Risty needed human contact and Rogue would never be able to give her that. The pain of that thought made her breathing ache, her chest constrict.  
  
"Get in first. Under the sheets, and I'll sleep above them." Risty reached out to caress her hair and Rogue tried to find a problem with the plan. She wouldn't risk Risty, but it would feel so nice. "I promise luv, I won't move much. It'll be okay." Risty's voice tried to sound less serious, "No risk no gain. Come on luv."  
*********  
  
"Okay." Rogue whispered her acceptance and Risty swallow her nervousness away enough to let go so that Rogue could get into bed. Tonights dream was worse. She remembered the laughing as they cut her. She'd seen the scars, but to know she'd been awake for that. That they didn't want to waste drugs on her, they said that even though they drugged her endlessly, just not when she needed it. Once Rogue was in place Risty moved to lay on top of the sheets. She put her arms around Rogue, draped a leg over Rogue's legs and nestled her head on Rogue's chest.   
  
They laid in silence. Risty listened the the slow breathing and Rogue's heartbeat, rather than risk sleep again. The subtle movements of her girlfriend moved Rogue's thigh between Risty's own and suddenly Risty's heart started to move faster. "Rogue." Her voice came out in a croak as she pressed down. "Rogue." Her teeth gritted as her body started to move. She needed this relief from the pain, and Rogue stared up at her with wide eyes as she moved to hover over her, pressing down harder on the leg between her own. Risty's head fell back as she rested with her arms on either side of Rogue's head and started the dance her body seemed to know only too well. "Rogue, oh God... Please."  
  
"Risty." Rogue moaned out her name and Risty's head dropped forward, just stopping before kissing her. Oh god she wanted to. Needed to. Risty moved her thigh higher.   
  
"Always a way luv." She groaned out as she pressed herself harder and felt Rogue's body move to meet her. "Always a way." Rogue's moans grew louder and Risty held on as long as she could, waiting until Rogue shook with release before pressing harder for her own pleasure. "Yes... luv... Yes." Tears trailed down her cheeks as she pulled her head up and cried out her lovers name.  
  
"Oh Gawd... Oh Risty." Rogue was crying. It pulled Risty up from where she'd collapsed on Rogue so she could see if she'd hurt her. "Risty." Rogue was staring at her like she'd created the sun. Risty finally realized what she'd done in her need. She took Rogue's innocence in the only way they could.  
  
"Rogue, baby." Risty ached to kiss her, to prove it meant something. Rogue was always there for her. Always. Risty laid down carefully, hugging Rogue to her. She didn't know how to deal with Rogue's tears, although it seemed to be more of relief and happiness than shame or pain, thank god. Rogue held her tightly for the rest of the night.  
********  
  
In the morning Charles checked his answering machine. The message that Logan was coming back with some information made him feel like maybe now they'd finally get somewhere. Logan didn't sound very happy on the machine, and he was pretty adament that Risty should stay until he got there. As far as Charles knew the girls didn't plan to leave today, but he'd find them and make sure they knew to stay.  
  
Hopefully this wasn't going to be too painful for them, but they had each other. And they could find a way to help Risty with her powers, which worked only half the time. They may be able to find a way to stop these people that did those horrible things to that poor girl. Charles didn't want to hear of another innocent young mutant going through that hell.  
  
  
tbc in   
Fraudulentus Persona Risty 


	5. Fraudulentus Persona Risty Chapter 1

Fraudulentus Persona Risty

By Princess Alexandria

A/N: Sequel to Tabula Rasa Risty, please read that first or you'll be lost.

Risty stared down into the peaceful, softly breathing form of her lover.  An uneasy feeling in her stomach was pushed away as she stared.  Lover.  It seemed like their act of love the night before was far from adequate to give them that title and Risty felt bad for feeling somewhat unfulfilled because of the lack of flesh on flesh.  Truth may be the cornerstone of a relationship, but Risty decided as she looked into Rogue's face, seeing the vulnerability that Rogue hid from so many others, that it was one truth she'd never utter.

She moved closer and rested her head on a sheet covered chest, pulling Rogue to her gently.  Maybe different sheets would feel better.  Something other than cotton.  Silk?

A soft groan from the body underneath her and the shifting of her living pillow told Risty that Rogue was waking up.

Risty moved to smile down at Rogue as the girl rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.  The wide eyes showed that Rogue remembered what they'd done the night before.  "I love you."  Risty whispered.  She didn't want Rogue to ever feel like she'd been used.  If anyone had ever made Rogue feel like that Risty would have…  Again she shook off the strange thoughts and just smiled back when Rogue stared at her.

"Ah…"  Rogue blushed deeply and glanced away, before pulling her eyes back to Risty's.  "I didn't know...  That I could…"

Risty smirked at her, "Always a way.  We just need to be creative."  The smirk became a wicked smile, "And perhaps a little kinky luv."  Risty imagined strange suits and other odd things they could buy at an adult toystore.  Of course having a stash like that would make it harder to hide what they were doing in here.  Undoubtedly the goodie goodie's wouldn't approve, and Risty couldn't lose Rogue.  She needed her.

She reached out to caress Rogue's hair, and noted the deep blush was a bit too embarrassed looking.  "Oh, Rogue… whatever we need to do, it's worth it.  So worth it."  Risty felt her own breathing change as she stared at Rogue, and knew her own eyes were becoming hungry as Rogue's eyes widened.  Risty could teach Rogue so much, and the thought held a sudden appeal.

Risty felt a bit strange, a little distant from herself as she thought that.  How good was her imagination that she could have these thoughts?  She didn't even remember browsing sex sites on the internet, so that image in her head of…

"Ah want to be able to kiss you."  Rogue's voice was filled with too much pain.  Risty focused on vulnerable eyes and damned herself for letting her physical needs make her forget Rogue's emotional ones.  "Ah want to be able to feel you, not some sheet."

"That's why you're here right?"  Risty moved to sit on the bed, her voice soft.  "To learn to turn the powers off once in a while."  Part of Risty really doubted that would ever happen, but Rogue needed this hope.  "It just takes time, but until then…"  She reached out and caressed Rogue's stomach through the sheet.  "I'll take what I can get, but if we can buy some softer sheets…"  She smiled, "I sure wouldn't mind.  Have you ever felt cool silk sheets caress your skin?  It's heaven."

Girls  The telepathic invasion made Risty clamp down on her thoughts.  She shared a brief frightened look with Rogue, praying Rogue covered hers in time as well.  Logan is bringing back some information.  Perhaps we will get some answers for you now Risty.

Thank you.  Risty mentally muttered, but her stomach felt nervous almost immediately.  She didn't want to know.  She'd tried telling him that before, but she'd lost so much of her life it wasn't really an option.

He should be back soon, so you two should plan to be in my office in two hours.  His mental voice faltered.  Did you want Rogue with you Risty?

Risty reached out and took Rogue's hand through the sheet.  She didn't want to do this alone.  Yes.  Was all she sent.

Okay, He tried his loving father tone, which really did little but irritate Risty under normal circumstances, but she didn't pay it any attention now.  He asks that you two stick around the mansion until he gets here.

No problem

Rogue noticed Risty pale as they waited outside of the Professor's office so she squeezed Risty's hand.  Rogue would do anything she could to make this easier on her… girlfriend.  It still sounded odd, even in her mind, but Rogue had a girlfriend. 

"It'll be okay."  She whispered when Risty moved to rest her head on Rogue shoulder again.  "Ah'm here for you."  During the past two hours Risty had been getting quieter and quieter.  It was obvious she didn't want to go into that office.

"I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you luv."  Risty sounded so vulnerable.  "Promise me, no matter how bad this is… don't leave me."

Rogue felt stunned.  "Why would you think I'd leave you?  They hurt YOU, remember."  Rogue grimaced when she realized that no, Risty barely remembered.  "Ah love you."

"I just feel like something awful is gonna happen luv."  Risty's breathing was a bit fast.  "I just feel…  I don't want to lose this."  Risty squeezed her hand, making it clear what she was talking about.  Rogue didn't know what she could say to make Risty believe her.  She hadn't seen her friend so vulnerable since shortly after they got her back.

Rogue was getting a bad feeling about this too.  She wished they could just forget about this.  Risty wasn't ready, it was so clear, so why was the Professor pushing this now?  Couldn't they just wait a little longer?

Professor?  Rogue thought as loud as she could, hoping he'd notice her.  He was in the office talking with Logan a bit too long.  The waiting was making it even worse for Risty.

Yes Rogue?  He sounded a bit tense, but she ignored that.

I don't think she's ready.  She's really scared.  It felt like a betrayal to admit that for Risty, knowing how proud Risty was and how she hated to be thought of a weak.  Can't we just wait?

Normally I wouldn't push this if Risty didn't seem ready.  The Professor paused and it didn't help to ease Rogue's nerves, However, some details have come to light that I believe need to be dealt with immediately.

The door opened and Logan stared at them.  Rogue could feel Risty tense up under the unexpected hostility in his stance.  "Well, I guess you better get in here."  He was just speaking to Risty, but Rogue got up first.  She glared at him, feeling a sudden need to protect her lover from something, but she couldn't tell what it was.  Why this felt so wrong, why Logan was so tense.

"Luv,"  Risty's voice was stronger, as she pretended to be okay.  Rogue glared at Logan a bit longer before turning to look at the purple haired girl holding her hand.  "If you don't want to…"

"No, I'm with you."  Risty was giving her an out, but whatever they found out, they could find out together. 

Risty felt the eyes on her as she moved to sit in front of the Professor's desk, and it wasn't a friendly feeling.  The old man was staring at her too hard, and Logan was leaning against the wall, for all purposes looking like a threat.

She glanced over at Rogue and the weak smile her lover gave her helped ground her.  Risty took a deep breath and sat up straighter.  No matter how bad it was, it was over now.  She was free.  Those bastards couldn't hurt her anymore than they already had.

"I just need to ask, before we get started Risty,"  The Professor was staring at her and it crept her out a bit how closely he seemed to be looking.  "If you've remembered anything more that you'd like to share with us."

"No."  Her nightmares weren't something she wanted to go into detail on.  She didn't want to talk about how she could remember the feel of a scalpel cutting her skin, or the burning of drugs down her throat.  Or the laughing, the horrible laughing.  She couldn't help but flinch as that ghost of a memory hit her. His expression showed he noticed it.

"We sent the medical records Logan found to Hank so he could see if there is a reason that you lost your memories."  The Professor sat back in his chair a bit.  "Logan managed to get some security camera footage, along with their other video records."  He paused and glanced at Rogue.  "Do you want to ask Rogue to wait outside?"

"No."  It was Rogue that answered for Risty, even as Risty was thinking it.

"No, she can stay."  Risty gave her a sad look, wishing she could apologize for needing her, for making her see whatever it was that they had to show.

"You sure you don't remember any of this Raven?"  Logan's voice was a bit harsh, not too different than normal.  His use of the barely used codename made Risty glance at him again. 

"Well, we might as well get this started."  The Professor sounded so resigned.  Risty swallowed hard and turned to face the screen they had set up on the wall.  A room with metal walls and horrible white… Risty shook a little as the camera glanced around the sterile room and her skin startled to crawl as her stomach wanted to rebel.  It finally landed on a woman that looked vaguely familiar.

How could she, she looked… blue.  Risty glanced around to see the Professor and Logan staring at her.  What was going on?  "Mystique?"  Rogue whispered as she looked at the screen.  "They had Mystique too?"

"Mystique?"  Risty muttered as she stared at the familiar looking face glaring defiantly at doctors. 

"How lovely, a new specimen."  Risty cringed at the voice that haunted her dreams coming over the speakers.

"We have a metamorph sir,"  A younger male spoke and Risty felt hot, flush, ill, as she watched the screen. 

"Oh, this is perfect.  How did you know it was my birthday."  The doctor chuckled and Risty had to look away.  She took shallow breaths as she tried to fight…

White walls… drugs… laughing…  Flashes of memories hit her.  "Oh God."  She muttered as she started to see the scene playing out on the screen from a new perspective in her mind.  The doctor glared at her.  "We'll see if we can't control her forms.  Give her something more normal looking.  She looks like the demon she is.  It's disgusting really."

He turned to the young man standing next to the table Mystique was strapped to.  "How'd you manage to catch this one?"

"She was practically gift wrapped for us."

"Summers."  Risty's voice rose a little louder.  She didn't notice the concerned and confused look Rogue was giving her.  "Trapped… Summers betrayed me."

"What are you talking about?"  Rogue's voice drew Risty's haunted eyes up.  Risty stared at Rogue, barely seeing her as her nightmares flitted behind her eyes.  Tears fell unnoticed.

"Scott practically gave me to them."

"Memories are coming back?"  Logan stood up and took a step closer.  Risty… Mystique…

"I…"  Risty  glanced around the room, her eyes wild. 

"Scott?"  Rogue sounded stunned.

"I don't want to go back."  Risty's voice rose as she lost touch with what was going on.  She saw a lab coat come into the room as Hank was bringing his results back and started to shake.  "No, please no… no more… no more…."

Rogue stared as Risty paled so quickly and was shaking as if waking from her worst nightmares.  The girl was pulling herself into a small ball and crying.  What the hell happened? 

She moved to pull Risty into a hug and winced at the desperate clinging that made it hard to breath.  "Oh baby… you're safe.  Ah have you.  Ah'll never let anyone… never again."  Rogue muttered as she rocked Risty in her arms like she was a small terrified child.  She glared over Risty's shoulder at the stunned expression on the Professor's face.  "Ah told you she wasn't ready."  Her voice was an angry growl. 

"Mystique…"  The Professor addressed Risty, and Rogue felt her heart drop even further as Risty turned a shaky head to face him.  Mystique?  Rogue felt the body in her arms tense and Risty turned her tearful face to Rogue's.  The pleading in those eyes matched Rogue's in their confused desperation.


	6. Fraudulentus Persona Risty Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"What is this about Scott?"  The Professor spoke and Risty had to rip her eyes away from Rogue.  The heartbreak and pain in her lover's eyes was so hard to look at, but so hard to look away from too.

"I…"  She stared at the old man with her eyebrows drew together.  "I don't know.  I just know… I was thinking he…"  Her voice cracked and she felt her body shaking.  At least the video was stopped, but her eyes were captured by the yellow of the blue woman's eyes.  The hard edged defiance they held.  That was her, she looked like that.  "Is that my form?  Am I supposed to look like that?"  A bit of horror crept into her voice at the completely inhuman appearance.  She'd pitied Kurt, and to know she look just as freakish was upsetting.

"Oh Dear."  The Professor muttered.  "We thought perhaps you were faking some of your memory loss, but that doesn't appear to be the case does it Mystique."  Rogue's body shook when he called Risty that. 

"Rogue?"  Risty spoke softly as she stared into the southerner's face, and the way those eyes darted away from her hurt.  "I don't…"

"Mystique."  Rogue stared at her, seemed to be trying to see something that wasn't there.

"Risty."  Risty whispered in response.  "Please, Rogue, luv… I don't…"

"Ah can't."  Rogue set her down a bit hard and pulled back in the chair.  "Risty?  Is she still alive, or did you…"

"I don't know."  Risty's voice rose in her frustration.  "I don't bloody well know anything.  Not even who the hell I am!"  Risty stood up, and shook her head.  "I can't… I can't do this…"  Rogue was rejecting her.  It was a nightmare.  "You said you wouldn't…"    She stared at Rogue, feeling betrayed, before turning to run toward the door.  No one stopped her.

Logan stared out the opened doorway for a moment.  "We letting her go Chuck?"  Rogue looked up into his eyes, noticed his lack of hostility as he just stood there, waiting.

"No."  Rogue whispered before anyone else said anything.  "She ain't going anywhere."  Her voice became harder as her anger started to burn through her pain.

"She was tortured pretty bad darlin',"  Logan stared at her.  "She doesn't smell like anything but fear and pain."  She barely listened as she ran past him and towards the opened front door.  Mystique wasn't getting away.  Not after having…  tears blurred her vision, but the confused shouts of Kitty and a few of the others made it clear what direction the woman had gone.

The Professor felt a bit lost as he glanced at the other two men in the room.  Logan took one last glance at the door before shutting it with a gentle kick.  "Woman's terrified.  Can't fake that."

"Henry, did you find anything?"  It was hard to believe that they'd had Mystique in the mansion for almost two months and never knew it.  Still it was hard to believe the woman was up to anything seeing the way she reacted to a few memories coming back.  As he spoke he flipped a switch on the desk in front of him and the monitor changed to follow Rogue into the woods, obviously chasing Mystique.  He frowned and debated about calling the other Xmen to help her, but something made him wait.  He saw Mystique beating her hands helplessly on the stone wall that stopped her progress.  Mystique would have been able to scale it, but this version helplessly took her anger and pain out on the wall.

"The drugs inhibited her powers, but not completely.  They trained her to take the Risty form as her main form."  Henry spoke with a bit of a whisper, like he couldn't bring himself to speak these horrible thoughts more loudly.  He didn't elaborate on the training, but if the Professor wanted to understand this he'd probably have to watch these torturous tapes himself and read the files Logan brought back with him.  "Her problems changing forms is caused by what they did.  Her memory problems though…"  The blue man shook his head.  "I can't find a reason for those, except for the tendency for the mind to try and protect itself from pain."

"So what we gonna do Chuck?"  Logan just stared at him, waiting for the decision, and in this one thing Charles wasn't sure he'd make the right one.  He wasn't comfortable having the shapeshifter in the mansion, and really wasn't comfortable having her around Rogue.

She'd thought she could get out this way.  The students at the entrance had her change course, but she'd felt she could escape.  She'd followed an instinct that she no longer understood, but the wall was too tall.  No one could jump that.  Risty felt caged, helpless.  She sank to her knees and wrapped her arms around her as she finally let the tears loose.

This was too much.  She'd thought that something was wrong, but this… Mystique was a woman, clearly older.  She felt like a stranger to Risty, but Risty could feel the connection, remember things seen from yellow eyes that felt foreign.  "I was happy."  She whispered through a tight throat. 

"Mystique."  Rogue's cold voice sounded a bit winded, and Risty just looked away shaking her head.  Of course this would get worse.  She didn't know who she was, apparently whoever she was wasn't a friend around here, and she lost her girlfriend because of it.  This was horrible.  The flashes of remembered tortures made it complete.

"Risty."  Risty growled out.  "I'm Risty.  I don't care who the blue woman is, this is me."  She wanted to believe that, but she couldn't.  "This is so bloody fucked up."

"Mystique, where is Risty?"  Rogue moved toward Risty and Risty could feel the angry threat the young woman held towards her now, as if it hadn't been her that Rogue told just a half hour ago that she would be there for her.

"I…"  Risty lifted her head and stared into Rogue's impassive angry face.  "I remember you sitting next to me at the assembly.  You were so nice, and I felt like I'd won something when I didn't even have to try and get your attention."  It was a strange feeling to have and Risty  went quiet as she tried to think about that.  She'd thought she'd picked a girl Rogue would like…  God, it was a form.  Risty's shoulders slumped as that treasured memory was destroyed by plotting she hadn't realized she'd done.  "Oh God… Rogue."  Her world was a complete lie, and the only real thing in it stood above her ready to fight.  "I wish Logan never found that bloody place.  I didn't ask them to look, I just wanted to forget.  I just wanted to forget." 

Silence drew Risty's eyes up again.  Her eyes stared, waiting for Rogue to move.  "You were always Mystique."  Rogue spoke flatly.  "You used me."

"No…"  Risty's voice took on a pleading tone, "No, luv…. I love you… making love to you was beautiful."

Rogue's expression grew colder.  "I wasn't even talking about that.  You were never my friend."

Risty watched Rogue's fists clenched and worried that the girl would actually hit her, but Rogue turned away, leaving her alone.

The Professor could hear what was being said, but the way Risty curled up into herself to cry once she believed she was alone made the decision for her.  Whatever happened to Mystique, it had really turned her into a teenage girl, one that would never recover without help.  "Henry, can you come up with a cure for her?"  Mystique had next to no control of her powers anymore, and while it would probably be best to leave her that way, this was a chance to try and get the woman to change. 

"I can work to try and counteract the drugs in her system, but her memories aren't something medicine will help."

Charles glanced at the screen that still showed Mystique strapped to that table.  That woman was still strong and defiant.  He wasn't sure he wanted to see the other tapes where that was stripped from her.  Seeing herself seemed to bring some memories to the surface.  "Don't worry, I'll work with that."  Charles was going to see if he could find more footage of the shapeshifter, some that was less painful, to mix in with the hours of tape Logan had found.

"You sure about this Chuck?"  Logan spoke softly and Charles glanced at him and smiled.

"We have an opportunity to try and get through to one of our greatest enemies.  Perhaps we can help her do more than remember who she is."

"What about this Scott thing?"

Charles' smile faded.  Scott had done something dishonorable and Charles had a feeling he knew how Mystique got captured.  He'd have to talk to the boy and find out what happened.  He probably should also inform his students about Mystique's situation now.


	7. Fraudulentus Persona Risty Chapter 3

Fraudulentus Persona Risty

By Princess Alexandria

"Risty."  The Professor spoke and Risty hated how he said her name now.  He made it sound like he was humoring her in calling her that.  It was too gentle, too obvious.  She barely turned from her staring out his office window at the kids playing in the yard.  "Henry is working on finding a way to counteract the drugs they gave you.  He'd like for you to drop by later so he could take some new blood samples."

She barely acknowledged that as she watched Rogue walk outside and move to sit far from the others.  Rogue was always a bit of a loner.  Risty watched the girl without blinking.  It had been over a day now and Rogue made no effort to talk.

"I was thinking that you might want to talk."  He spoke in his soft do gooder voice and Risty grimaced.  No, she didn't really feel like talking.  Not to him anyway.  She pulled her arms tighter around her and just stared out into the summer day.  "We could work on trying to regain your memory."

"Don't bother."  She finally glanced over her shoulder at the old man.  "Not interested."

He looked a little surprised at that and Risty felt a small wave of triumph.  He was clearly lost, maybe he'd give up.  She turned to stare out the window again.  Rogue was reading a book.  Couldn't tell from this far away what it was.  "You lost your life.  Don't you want it back?"

Risty just shook her head.  "Scott filled me in.  I'm a killer and a bitch.  What else do I need to know?"  She sighed as she glanced at the boy with the red sunglasses.  He hadn't stopped watching her since they all heard how she was supposed to be their enemy.  He didn't bother hiding why he felt the need to betray her, leave her there.  His hatred scared her.  But the Professor wouldn't let him do anything, kick her out, give her back to the monsters that tortured her.  He told her she was safe here.  She believed he'd honor his word.

"There has to be more to your life than that Mystique."  Risty glared at him when he said that name.  As far as she was concerned that woman died in that hell hole, and she could stay there.  She'd stolen Risty's entire life from her, and left her with a bad reputation and no lover.  Rogue moved out of their room yesterday and back in with Kitty.  Risty turned away from the window and leaned against the wall.

"We done here luv?  I really wanted to catch Oprah." 

His voice became quieter.  He looked disappointed in her.  Too bad.  "Risty, hiding from it won't make it go away."

"It's worth a shot."  She barely slowed down as she grabbed her jacket and left his office.  Old man should have left well enough alone.  Risty would have been happier that way.

Rogue couldn't concentrate enough to read her new book.  Her eyes just stared at the pages and nothing really made any sense. 

Mystique.  Rogue sighed heavily and turned a page, more to make it look like she was making progress than anything else.  She'd spent two months falling in love with that woman.  The thought made her cringe.  She remembered Mystique from Rogue's brief time at the Brotherhood, and the woman was a tyrant.  Nothing at all like Risty.   

And there was the problem.  After the Professor talked with her about her relationship with Risty, where Rogue volunteered next to nothing, he'd told her that apparently Risty was always Mystique.  The girl didn't really exist. 

"Hey Rogue."  Kitty's voice was softer than normal.  Her roommate was actually being pretty nice about this.  The rant about Rogue dating Mystique only lasted five minutes before Kitty stopped it after she heard about it.  Now they all seemed to pity her.  That wasn't really better.  "I was thinking of going to the mall tomorrow.  Wanna come?"

"Yeah sure."  Rogue spoke softly.  She didn't really feel up to it, but since Risty wasn't allowed to leave campus it was the only way to make sure she didn't bump into her.  Rogue dropped her head to pretend to read some more, so Kitty sat down and started to talk.  The girl gave Rogue her opinions on the Frisbee game taking over the front lawn.  Rogue didn't bother pretending to listen.

Ororo was woken up by a loud scream.  Her heart started to pound and her robe was in her hand as she made her way to the door before she even had time to think about her actions.  A few doors opened into the hall and curious eyes glanced out.  "Go back to bed children."  She barely gave them a glance as she moved toward the room it was coming from.

Mystique would have hated for everyone to know how scared she could sound.  Ororo had been stunned to find out who the new student really was, but it was times like this that made it clear how very lost Mystique was.  It was the third night the woman had to room alone, and this was the longest nightmare she'd had. 

Ororo opened the door and could see the teenage form thrashing and trying to get away from something in her sleep.  

"Risty."  Ororo spoke loudly from the doorway, trying to wake her up before getting too close.  She still had a sore jaw from where Risty had hit her last night in her panic to get to safety.  It took a few more tries before Risty woke up and scrambled away from her, staring at Ororo with wide frightened eyes.  Oh Goddess, Ororo thought, and not for the first time, what did they do to you?  "It's just me."  She spoke softly.

"Storm?"  Risty seemed to sit up straighter.  "Sorry about that."

"Do you wish to talk about it?"  Ororo found herself offering.  While she was among the first to agree Rogue should move out, she was starting to doubt that now.  Seeing how vulnerable Risty was did that.  Ororo wasn't even aware Risty still had the nightmares.  Rogue must have been taking care of her.

"No, no…"  Risty still sounded shaken.  "I'm alright luv."  It was such a blatant lie for the child to tell her.  Ororo just stared at her for a moment, thinking about that.  It was hard to think of Risty as anything but the girl she saw when she looked at her.

"Well, alright then."  Ororo nodded her head briefly and turned to leave.  "But you do know where I am."  She added it even though she knew Risty would never take her up on that offer.

When she closed the door to leave she noticed a familiar head looking down the hall in some concern.  Rogue's expression turned to shame as she noticed Ororo saw her and she slipped back into her room.  Ororo sighed and stared at that closed door. 

"I can't believe it."  Kitty's angry muttering came from under a pile of blankets.  "You lived with that?  She screams like a banshee."

Rogue's eyes narrowed and her voice was cold.  "Well, I'd say being dissected alive AND awake might traumatize a person, but if you think she's being a baby, why don't you tell her that?"  She felt like tossing Kitty out of her room for that insensitive comment.  Of course Risty is having a hard time adjusting.  She'd been tortured for months.

Kitty's blankets moved and the girl squinted up at her, obviously unhappy with the lights being on.  "I didn't mean… I'm, like, sure it was horrible and everything.  I'm just, like, missing being able to sleep a whole night without the screaming."

Rogue moved to her bed and didn't look at Kitty as she crawled in and turned off the light.  She did too.  Risty sounded worse than she used to.  The video must have made it worse.  "Night."  She muttered and rolled away from Kitty's side of the room.

"Do you, like, still love her?"  The question was a whisper, and Rogue pretended not to hear it.


	8. Fraudulentus Persona Risty chapter 4

Fraudulentus Persona Risty

By Princess Alexandria

Rogue stood in the shadow of the tree and watched her.  The sounds of the others playing on the basketball court easily drifted this far, but it wasn't close.  Risty seemed so tired looking as she laid out in the sun, almost as if she really would fall asleep any moment.  Rogue took in her pale skin, and her circles under her eyes.  She took in the firm body and the purple nail polish on her toes. 

It all felt so confusing.  Rogue's eyebrows drew together as she tried to grasp the missing piece to the puzzle.  There was just something unMystiquelike about Risty.  Rogue wasn't having any luck giving words to that quality.

Risty didn't seem to notice her, which Rogue was thankful for.  She hadn't intended to run into the girl here.  Rogue had just been seeking a quiet place to sit, away from the strange looks her teammates sometimes gave her and the loud games they played.

"You could sit down luv."  Risty's voice startled Rogue out of her deep thoughts and Rogue's eyes widened in shock at being caught.  She looked up quickly to see Risty staring right at her hiding space.  "I won't bite.  Promise."

"Ah, um…"  Rogue felt a flush of embarrassment cover her face and damned it.  "was looking for a place to be alone." 

"Oh."  One small sound, but it seemed to carry Risty's feeling of pain and abandonment well.  It made Rogue's heart ache to hear that.  Why couldn't this be simple?  Normal?  Rogue really didn't know what to do with her feelings.

"I heard you last night."  Rogue spoke softly.  "Are you okay?"  She risked taking a step out into the sunlight and watched as Risty's shoulders slumped a bit.

"You know how it is luv."  Risty looked away and Rogue found herself moving to kneel on the ground next to the girl.  She did know how it was, and it bothered her.  Risty's voice became little more than a barely heard whisper.  "I miss you."

"You lied."  Rogue's voice was just as quiet as she stared at Risty's profile.  This wasn't even what the girl looked like.

"I…"  Risty turned to face her.  "I can't remember that.  All I remember is this…"  Risty's arm waved to take in her own form.  "And I do love you.  I remember feeling a connection to you even that first day.  I remember lunches off campus, and talks in the bathroom at school."  Rogue watched a tear travel down Risty's cheek as the girl spoke so passionately and yet so quietly.  "I remember parties, and movies…  but most of all I remember you.  You were the only real thing in my life Rogue, and you left me."  Risty gave her searching look before turning away.  It didn't look like she saw what she wanted to.  "I've been wanting to tell you that for a week, but I never saw you."

It felt like Rogue's heart would just stop from the pain she felt.  Her hands shook a little and a loud squeal from the basketball court made her flinch.  This was Mystique, but talking to Risty, knowing Risty, it was too hard to believe.  Rogue stayed quiet as she fought with herself.  If this were just Risty things would be different, but it wasn't. 

"Alright then."  Risty's voice cracked and it hurt Rogue even more to hear that.  "Guess it really is over luv."  Risty stared at her and Rogue felt like backing away so she wouldn't have to see the pain she caused.  Rogue had to tell herself that this wasn't her fault that Risty was a liar, but it felt like such a weak excuse at the moment.  "I hate her too."  Risty spoke and Rogue couldn't believe what she was listening to.  "She stole my life, and I'll never have it back.  I guess there isn't always a way."

Rogue reached out to touch Risty's arm.  She couldn't walk away with the girl hurting like this.  "Risty…"  Her words trailed off uselessly.  She couldn't help but notice how Risty seemed to refer to Mystique as someone else.  She'd heard Risty did that, but this was the first time she saw it, and it seemed so genuine.  It would be so easy to just let herself believe that it was someone else.  Someone that lived in Risty's mind, but wasn't her.  Like the memories that Rogue pulled from other people.  "Risty… Ah… Ah missed you."

Those words drew Risty's eyes to her quickly and Rogue felt tears run down her own cheeks.  "Ah can't stop thinking about you.  Ah don't know what to do." Risty scrambled onto her knees and moved to pull Rogue closer.  Rogue tenses at the amount of flesh Risty's outfit showed, but Risty was careful to only touch where Rogue was covered. 

"Oh luv…"  Risty seemed to be holding Rogue so tightly.  Rogue hesitantly wrapped her own arms around Risty.  "We'll find a way luv.  There has to be a way."

Rogue knew there were a lot of reasons to stay away, but she relaxed into Risty's hug and let herself feel loved, if only for now. 

Risty didn't want to let go, but she did.  When Rogue pulled back she stared into Rogue's eyes and could still see the doubt there.  "I don't even remember…"  She tried to make it clear that Rogue wasn't being with Mystique.  "I'm just Risty now."

"What happens when you do remember?"  Those few words exposed their shared fear.  What would happen?

"Won't matter luv."  Risty smiled at Rogue, desperate to believe it herself, but she felt something that told her it would matter.  "I don't plan on remembering."

"What?"  Rogue stared at Risty like she couldn't believe that, so Risty just stared back.

"She sounds like a miserable person luv, why would I want to remember that?"

"But…"  Rogue's voice trailed off.  Once again someone couldn't give her a reason.  Risty was pretty sure no one would be able to.

"I'm starting over luv."  Risty reached out to carefully caress Rogue's hair.  "It really is better this way." 

Ororo woke up again with her heart pounding, and it took only a second to identify a familiar scream.  By the time she had her robe and opened her door she was sure that this nightly routine was going to wear her down if it went on much longer.  Already she felt exhausted long before bedtime.

A figure walking down the hall drew her attention and Ororo didn't step out of her room as she watched Rogue open Risty's door.  The screaming stopped shortly after that.  Ororo felt a bit conflicted as she closed her own door and let the girls have their privacy.  It looked like the girls were on their way to getting back together, but should they really allow that?  Mystique was probably old enough to be the girl's mother.  Ororo sighed as she hung her robe back up on its hook.  But Risty was just a teenager, not even a year older than Rogue. 

This wasn't going to be an easy answer, and Ororo decided to let Charles know about the new development in the morning and let him decide. 


	9. Memoria Redux Risty

Memoria Redux Risty

By Princess Alexandria

Risty rested her chin on Rogue's shoulder and smiled at the soft contented sigh that Rogue gave out, before trying to focus on the television again. Rogue loved being held, and Risty gave her that, just very carefully. Risty's body was pressed back into the couch as Rogue sat between her legs, watching the show.

Kitty occasionally gave them an odd look and Risty just glared at the girl until she looked away. Risty stared at Kitty a little longer, before trying to focus on the rather bad movie again.

"So like, are you two going to do something, like, special on your anniversary?" Kitty spoke as the commercial started and Risty just sighed at the question. She wasn't really sure what to do for a three month anniversary, it seemed a bit odd to celebrate that. Risty hugged Rogue to her, being careful not to accidently brush up against Rogue's skin.

"We'll think of something." Risty smiled, knowing Rogue wanted to celebrate this, and that was all the reason Risty needed.

After Rogue and Kitty left for their danger room session, Risty nabbed the keys to a car and decided to start planning this anniversary. She paid little attention to the crunch of the gravel under her feet as she made her way to the car she was 'borrowing', her mind considering and rejecting plans for the date and even more venomously rejecting her present ideas. She had to buy Rogue something, but nothing was coming to mind that didn't seem stupid.

She still felt a bit nervous walking the streets by herself, even though the parts of memory that had returned to her gave her the impression the monsters that had tortured her didn't know where she came from. Risty hadn't expected to feel so exposed, vulnerable, as she shopped alone. She just had wanted to surprise Rogue and hadn't wanted to deal with the X-geeks to do it.

Risty kept her eyes moving, and slowly she started to relax so she could focus on the stores. The teddy bear store called to her and Risty frowned as she felt the urge to purchase one. That wasn't what she wanted to get, she'd already dismissed the idea of a cute gift. She wanted Rogue to feel like a woman, not a girl.

Risty slowed in front of the lingerie store, and grimaced as she realized that perfect gift for a three month anniversary wasn't perfect for Rogue. Risty couldn't buy a mutant who couldn't touch anyone's skin, sexy, revealing, lingerie. It would taunt Rogue and just be cruel.

Risty glanced into the Bed Bath and Beyond store briefly, she she'd already purchased two sets of silk sheets, which they put to good use regularly. They didn't need another set, and nothing else in there said anniversary to her.

When she turned to look where she was going Risty's eyes widened as she found someone right in front of her. Another step would have had Risty ramming into the older woman. Risty glanced at the woman, noticing her dark sun glasses inside a mall. Risty sighed and started to continue evaluating the stores once she could.

She felt eyes on her and turned back to see that old woman was staring at her. Risty just gave that woman a small polite smile and turned to check out the other stores. As she took to just walking passed the clothing store rather than look, she felt an odd sense of having recognized that woman. Risty swallowed hard and glanced back, but the woman she was thinking of wasn't there.

The tension ratcheted up and Risty almost cursed herself when she realized she wished she'd invited Jean on this trip into town. Her mind kept replaying that look the old woman gave her and a sense of danger came to Risty, but it was odd. Risty didn't think that old woman was a threat, she didn't feel that at all, but a looming sense of doom hit Risty as she remembered the woman's face. Risty did her best to push those thoughts away, but she did keep an eye out for the woman, or anyone else suspicious, as she continued to shop.

The jewelry store came just as Risty was about ready to give up and leave. Glancing at their fine gold chains and simple rings, Risty almost scoffed at the idea of getting Rogue these things. Her girl was a Goth. It did, however, finally give Risty an idea. Rings would be a waste, under the gloves, but a nice choker would work.

There was a sense of accomplishment in getting a perfect gift and Risty smiled as she walked out of the mall, a small bag in hand. It contained a wrapped gift that Rogue should love.

The parking garage was creepy, like most parking garages were. Risty made her way down a row of cars. Someone was there calling out something, but she was focused on looking into the shadows for threats.

When the sound repeated Risty's eyes widened as she recognized what was being called. "Mystique." A woman's voice called out and Risty swallowed hard as she debated about turning around. She kept walking, listening hard for an attack. She could hear the hum of a well maintained car trailing after her. "Mystique." The word was called again and Risty grimaced as she risked a glance behind her even as she walked more hurriedly toward the car she'd brought and wanted to use to escape this.

It was that woman with the dark sunglasses. She was in a limo, the back window opened, as she stared out at Risty. Risty turned and started to walk faster, but she was pretty sure that woman was calling out to her.

"I'm at the Regency Hotel if you decide you want to talk." The woman finally called out and the car drove off. It didn't seemed to affect the pounding of Risty's heart, or the slight shaking of her hands. Risty checked her backseat for intruders before getting in the car, but after a quick deep breath, Risty drove out of the parking garage so fast some man yelled at her.

Risty looked pale when she came back and Rogue was concerned about her. None of Rogue's gentle questions came back with answers as to why Risty was so tense during dinner, so Rogue followed Risty to their room after dinner.

The girl was sitting on the bed, staring blankly out the window when Rogue got there, and Rogue closed their bedroom door softly. "Someone called me Mystique today." Risty spoke quietly, her voice weak and weary. Rogue's eyes widened and her heart started to sink. Who would know? Would this be a problem?

"Did you recognize them?" Rogue asked after a moment, while moving slowly to sit on the bed with Risty. Rogue pulled one leg onto the bed so she could shift and face the woman sitting next to her.

"I don't know. There was something familiar about her, but I can't recall." Risty sighed heavily. "But I went out just as me, and she still called me that. She has to know me pretty well, don't you think?"

"Could she been one of the people that did that to you?" Rogue asked, feeling nauseous. If those bastards came for Risty again Rogue would kill them. Risty was never going to go through that again; she'd suffered so much already.

"I don't know." Risty looked up and Rogue could see she was scared. "I don't think so luv. I'd hope that if I saw one I'd know it, and she didn't seem cruel. She just called out to me and when I didn't come she left." Rogue frowned. It made her think this woman knew Mystique in another way, and while it might not be dangerous to Risty, it really concerned Rogue. Risty said she wasn't going to remember Mystique, and that she'd remain Risty. Rogue wanted Risty to keep her word. She didn't want to lose her.

In Rogue's mind, this mystery woman had just become the enemy. She clenched her fists, swearing to herself that she wasn't about to lose Risty to this. "Maybe you shouldn't go out alone for a while." Rogue offered, resisting the urge to order her lover to stay near her.

"Right luv, maybe that would be best." Risty sounded distracted and continued to just sit there. Rogue didn't know what to do. She pulled Risty into a hug and just held her.

Risty found herself staring up at the shadows on the ceiling rather than sleeping a few hours later. She'd slipped into sleep briefly, but her dreams had been weird, not horrible like her normal nightmares, but confusing. That woman she'd seen earlier that day had been baking and talking to her about something she had to do, but Risty couldn't remember what she'd said. It had gotten really weird when it shifted to an alley and she saw a little girl, grimy and cold, with a stripe of white hair.

"So is this our little rogue?" Risty heard herself ask, but her voice was different. In the dream she'd turned to the woman with sunglasses, and this time at night. "This is the girl you said we needed to rescue Irene?"

"Yes, she'll be very important." The woman, Irene, spoke to her and then softened her voice to address the little girl. Rogue had to be about five. "What's your name little one?" Irene asked little Rogue and the girl didn't answer. "Well, we need to call you something." Irene pressed on in the face of a silent child. "Rogue it is." Risty stared at her, puzzled at how weird her dreams were, before waking up.

Risty tried to dismiss it as just a weird dream, but it bothered her. She slowly slipped out of bed. She grabbed some clothes and quietly put them on, being very careful to not disturb Rogue in doing it. She pulled a piece of paper out of Rogue's notebook and wrote a quick note, knowing that Rogue wouldn't be happy to read it. She was going out, even though she'd said she didn't want to remember Mystique, and she wanted to ignore this, something told her she shouldn't.

Risty carried her shoes out of the room with her, and she carefully slipped downstairs, worried about being found out. She put her shoes on without tying them and took a set of car keys, her heart pounding. She felt sick, and shaky, and more than a little worried as she drove away from the mansion towards Regency Hotel. She didn't even know who it was she was after, but somehow she didn't think she'd have trouble finding her.

If that woman's name was Irene, Risty wasn't sure what she'd do. Irene was Rogue's mom's name. Risty had to ask her.

………………………….

Risty stood in front of the hotel, debating about how to find out where that mystery woman was. Her planning was interrupted by that woman stepping out and staring at her. "I was expecting you."

"How? I wasn't going to come." Risty spoke and watched as the woman's mouth tightened for a moment, before it was covered up.

"I'm in room 916, shall we go up there." The woman spoke and Risty debated about it. The woman's voice softened. "This isn't a conversation that should be overheard." Still Risty made no attempt to follow, unsure how safe it would be.

"Well, luv, I know my memories of daddy telling me to not talk to strangers isn't real, but it's still a good idea." Risty finally spoke and the woman let out a long slow breath.

"I'm Irene Adler." The woman, Irene, said just enough to make Risty go with her. "You're dating my daughter now, aren't you?"

"Um," Risty glanced around a bit nervously. "Yes Ma'am." Irene seemed rather pale, and Risty felt a bit concerned. "Rogue said you were a lesbian, and you'd understand." She pressed, but Irene wasn't looking at her, or towards her as the case was, since Risty now remembered Rogue saying Irene was blind.

"Let's go upstairs." Irene's voice was thick with some emotion. "This has gotten very complicated."

Risty stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the 9th floor, remembering the room number Irene had given her. They stood in silence, and Risty fought the urge to fidget nervously. Instead she stood still and stared at the floor readout, saying nothing.

She should have brought Rogue with her, Risty thought as the door opened and Irene beckoned her to follow her to the left.

Risty closed the door behind her, and stood in the hotel room, watching Irene stare off into nothing for a moment, before sighing heavily and turning toward her before sitting on the bed. Irene waved at the chair and Risty slowly took it.

"Mystique." Irene started and Risty grimaced.

"Names Risty." Risty stared the woman down. "Mystique is gone, good riddance." She was a little surprised to see Irene flinch at that. This was Rogue's mom, and Risty had no idea how this woman had known Mystique. There was too much strange about all of this.

Irene seemed sad, lost for just a moment, by the way her shoulders slumped. "Well, then Risty, I have a lot to tell you."

"I don't want to be Mystique." Risty tried to clarify. "I don't want to hear it."

"But you came." Irene spoke with conviction and Risty couldn't deny it. "Why if you don't want to hear what I have to say?" Risty couldn't answer, and Irene sat forward a little, her voice more commanding. "I would be surprised if I didn't spark some memories in you. I know you've forgotten, you wouldn't be where you are doing what you're doing if you remembered."

Risty ran her hand through her hair and sighed heavily. "How does Mystique know you?"

"That is very complicated." Irene took the sunglasses off and rubbed at her eyes, before just looking at Risty with her pale, unseeing eyes. "Mystique and I work together, we live together, and we raised a child together." Risty felt herself paling. "She was my lover, and I was the one person in the world she trusted."

"But." Risty protested quietly, "Rogue would have said," Her mind went back to how much trouble Rogue had when she'd found out who else Risty was, but it would have been worse if she knew wouldn't it?

"She doesn't know. We kept that from her." Irene answered gently and Risty just gaped at the woman. Risty was finding it hard to breathe suddenly and she gripped the chair she was sitting on tightly, because she was feeling a bit dizzy and worried she might just fall off. Her eyes jerked to Irene's face when the woman started to get up and move toward her.

"No, no, stay away." Risty ordered even as her mind was frozen on the revelations. She wanted to deny it, but then where did that dream come from? There were other things, strange things she'd known and just shrugged off.

She'd had to stop herself from buying Rogue a teddy bear today, Risty thought with horror, remembering how Rogue had told her about her mother, the one that was rarely home and the gifts she'd be given to make up for that.

"We need to talk." Irene spoke gently, and Risty finally blinked and started to push past her shock enough to see the compassion and pain in Irene's face. "Oh dear, I never realized. With my powers, I became too overconfident and I didn't realize that you'd end up with Rogue like this. I just planned for you to stay long enough for Dr. McCoy to fix what those monsters did." Irene's voice was rough and Risty watched as tears trailed down the old woman's cheeks.

"I've been sleeping with Rogue for almost three months." Risty's voice cracked, thinking of her Goth girlfriend. Irene broke into sobs and Risty just stared at her, her mind stalling on what she'd been told. She had no memory, or spotty memories she should be honest, but that didn't mean it wasn't true. "We're celebrating our three month anniversary tomorrow night." Risty ran her fingers through her hair, pulling a little, before just leaning forward with her head in her hands. "I love her, and I don't remember, I don't."

"You missed our fifteenth year anniversary." Irene managed to speak and it felt like Risty was being tortured by the words. "You were captured during that time and I couldn't get to you."

Silence filled the room, and Risty stared up at a miserable looking Irene, her eyes angry. "But I've been out for months, and you didn't even look me up. I hadn't known who I was, and the only person I had was Rogue, my Rogue. You left me like that!" Risty felt 

like screaming, but it was so late and this was a hotel room. "And she's," Risty's voice cracked.

"Mystique, I thought it was for the best. We don't have the resources that Xavier does." Irene pleaded and Risty stood up suddenly, needing to leave. As she struggled with the door, arms wrapped around her from behind, "Please forgive me." Irene pleaded again and Risty couldn't breathe. She shrugged Irene off and ran out the door.

She drove until she just couldn't see past her tears and pulled over. Risty watched the sunset from a field in the middle of god knows where, trying to make sense of this mess. Pieces of memories came to her, proving the truth of Irene's words. Risty sat in the car staring out at the sky, but she wasn't seeing anything, as the block she'd put on her own mind after the abuse, the one the Professor never could explain, started to crack.

……………………..

Rogue had trouble focusing on school all day. She'd tried to talk the Professor into using Cerebro to check on Risty, because the girl had disappeared last night, but he couldn't do that with her. A quirk of Risty's powers kept her invisible and Rogue had horrible visions of Risty being in trouble. Rogue knew something was wrong. She couldn't focus on school at all, and when the final bell went off she raced to the car, and was forced to wait even longer for the others to show up so they could leave.

When Rogue saw the car they suspected Risty had borrowed back in the garage, Rogue didn't wait for the car she was in to stop completely before leaping out of it and racing for the mansion. She looked and didn't see Risty in the living room, so she took the stairs two at a time to get to their room.

Once the door flew opened Rogue found herself stopping her race as she stared at the back of Risty's head as the girl stared out the window. Rogue took a step into the room, and Risty didn't turn around. A sense of growing unease filled Rogue as she stared at Risty, and then she slowly closed the door behind her when she heard the sound of the others coming in the front door. "Risty? Where were you?"

"I needed to think." Risty didn't really answer, and her next words were quieter, "I didn't want to remember." Risty spoke and Rogue felt her heart clench. The pain of that only grew as Risty slowly turned to look at her, and Rogue saw the blue skin. It looked so strange, since all the features, and even the hair was all Risty. The eyes were yellow, and Rogue stared in shock at this hybrid between Risty and Mystique. "Oh Rogue," Risty had tears on her face and Rogue fought with her shock at seeing some Mystique in her to take a step closer. "I never meant to hurt you, I never wanted that."

"What do you mean?" Rogue asked, but she could feel the finality of the words.

"Mystique wasn't single." Risty whispered and looked away. "I didn't know. No one knew."

"But, but you're with me now." Rogue protested weakly, even as her mind spun at the idea of Mystique and this mystery lover stealing Risty from her. "Risty, you promised not to do this." Rogue felt childish, she knew this wasn't something easy to promise.

"It's so complicated Rogue." Risty turned back to look at her and Rogue looked past the blue skin and yellow eyes. Rogue's eyes were watering and her body shaking. "So unbelievably complicated. I feel like I'm being ripped apart." Risty's voice cracked and Rogue ached to comfort her, but what was happening kept her from doing it. "Oh Rogue, I hope you don't hate me forever, I couldn't take that luv."

"Why are you picking her? I love you too." Rogue shakily asked. That caused Risty to take a very shaky breath. "Why?"

"Oh God Rogue, it's not like that. It wasn't a choice I could make. Don't ever think I didn't pick you, I couldn't pick you. There is a difference luv." Risty's words made no sense and Rogue glanced around the room to see a packed bag. This had already been decided without her. "I'm not good for you Rogue."

"I don't agree." Rogue's eyes narrowed as she stared at Risty.

"I can't explain, and it wouldn't really help. Not at all." Risty stood up and was just an arms length away, before she pulled Rogue into a hug. "Never doubt that I love you Rogue." Risty whispered, "but the part of me that is Risty is shrinking luv. I can't stay."

Rogue stood still in shock as Risty grabbed her luggage and moved toward the door. Risty paused before opening it. "I'm so sorry." Risty whispered and left. Rogue slowly sank to the ground, hugging her own legs as sobs started to emerge from her and her heart felt like it had been shredded.

"I don't understand." Rogue muttered into her legs, and when the bedroom door creaked she didn't even look up.

"Oh child." Ororo's voice was soft and Rogue flinched as she was pulled into Ororo's arms. Her sobs grew in intensity with arms around her, so she wasn't sure it was helping, but she didn't pull away.

The end


End file.
